By Natasha Josefowitz. This is a small book of hilarious poems. It puts into words of how feel many times when it comes to eating and my struggle with weight issues. It talks about other daily dilemmas as well which I relate too but the poems about overeating are great. I highly reccommend this book of poems to everyone. My mom bought this for me just because and I read it all in a day. Here are a few of my favorite poems.
Diets
No bread
with strawberry jam
no rich desserts
no candy
no chocolate ice cream
no french fries
no chips
INSTEAD
Carrot sticks
raw cauliflower
with a low-fat yogurt dip
broiled fish
cottage cheese
lettuce with a diet dressing
half a grapefruit
one salt-free cracker
Even if I don't live longer
it certainly will seem longer.
Thin Tricks
If I take many small slivers of cake
instead of one large slice,
I am really eating less.
If I keep evening out
the uneven edges of the pie,
I'm not really eating it.
If I eat off your plate,
I'm not eating off mine.
If I finish the children's leftovers,
it doesn't count.
If I don't order a meal,
but taste everyone else's,
I won't gain weight.
So how come
I'm not thin?
Meeting New Men
When I meet a new man,
the more handsome he is
the less attractive I feel;
the more intelligent he is
the stupider I sound;
the smoother he is
the more awkward I seem.
In other words,
when I meet a man
I really like,
I become this blubbering idiot
and he will have nothing to do with me.
When I meet a man
I'm not interested in,
I am beautiful, brilliant,
witty and fun,
so he falls madly in love
with me,
but I will have nothing to do
with him.
The trick is to be dull
with the men I don't like
and sparkling with ones I do,
but for some reason,
it's always the other way around.
There are lots more but I'll stop now. Maybe you'll see one or two on my new feature: the poem of the day.
3 comments:
Hmm. Sounds like a book I'd really enjoy - I'll have to read it once I get done with school.
Glad you enjoyed the book. The one about men was one I really liked as well. Explains why I was so hot to that drunk guy. I may have to borrow the book so I can read them all. I just skimmed. What??? No secret code words before I can publish?? It must be a deep dark plot.
Very funny and clever poems. And so true! I read these while eating a mint cookie. Also, I like your poem of the week about losing things, something I do a lot of when it comes to names, concepts, and important facts. No disaster yet, but when I forget Myke's name than expect WW3.
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